


some days I like you (some days you're just okay)

by Itty_Bitty_Blondie



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Dysfunctional Roses, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Multi, Personal Growth, Pre-Canon, Protective Siblings, Sibling Bonding, references to episodes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21797266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itty_Bitty_Blondie/pseuds/Itty_Bitty_Blondie
Summary: From that point onward David decided that Alexis would be the one to love him, even when Mom and Dad were gone, or Adelina was too busy to pay attention to him.For a while, it even worked.OrDavid doesn't quite understand how love works. It takes thirty years and more than a few awkward conversations, but he's starting to get there.
Relationships: Alexis Rose & David Rose, Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Theodore "Ted" Mullens/Alexis Rose
Comments: 21
Kudos: 98
Collections: Schitt's Creek Open Fic Night 2.0





	some days I like you (some days you're just okay)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [expensivesushi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/expensivesushi/gifts).



> This fic started as a little bit of pre-Schitt's Creek sibling bonding, but then it touched on my protective older sibling feelings and has sprawled into this small study on David's feelings towards Alexis. 
> 
> At some point, I'm going to learn to stop writing fic when I am supposed to be focusing on my dissertation, but this is not then. 
> 
> For the prompt. Alexis & David - sibling bonding pre-SC move by expensivesushi I hope you like it!

David is weary by the time he returns to Rose Apothecary, today has lasted for twice as long as it should have, and he wants to go to bed. The less said about mom, the better, and the emotional revelations from the car journey are still processing in his mind.

The warmth and smell of the shop calm him instantly, just like they were designed to.

“I think this might be the longest day of all time.” He announces dramatically.

Patrick looks up from his laptop at the sound of the bell on the door. “Hey” he smiles back.

David crosses the distance to the front desk and leans over to kiss his boyfriend. His boyfriend. The word still gives him a thrill. Patrick hums into the kiss and finally the knot that has been twisting in David’s in his stomach all afternoon eases.

“I saw your mother a second ago looking very well dressed for the Café, so I assume she’s been making the best out of being dead?”

“Oh, don’t get me started” David rolls his eyes “You should see my parents room, it’s drowning in gift baskets.”

“Well then, I’m sure Alexis was pleased that you took her on the buying trip” Patrick leans over the counter, resting on his elbows “How did you get on?”

“Good. Much better than I thought. Mrs Robert’s knitwear was a bust, but we got the exclusivity on the Warner Farms cheeses.”

“That’s great, David” Patrick smiled at him “How did you manage that?”

David sighed. “As much as I would love to take the credit, this one was all Alexis.”

“Really?” Patrick asked, looking slightly shocked.

“Turns out, Cheese Heather is actually Ted’s Heather.”

“Ah”

“Yup. So we get there, and we’re trying the cheese, and then she invites us for lunch, with Ted. It was very awkward for me.”

“It sounds it,” Patrick says slowly.

“Oh, it gets worse.”

Patrick raises his eyebrows at him. David walks around the counter and into Patrick’s arms, leaning into the embrace. “Honestly babe, Its tragic, at one point Heather thanked Alexis for getting them together.”

“She’s in love with him.” He finishes quietly. Patrick doesn’t say anything but the arms around his waist tighten.

David takes another deep breath before he continues. “I don’t know what to do. Alexis doesn’t do real feelings, so I am completely unprepared on how to deal with this. I’ve always been the one to look out for her, but I don’t know what to do this time.”

“The only thing you can do is be there for her,” Patrick says after a moment. David is expecting him to continue, but instead, he places a long kiss on David’s forehead.

“Come on, if we lock up now we can meet Alexis and your family at the Café for dinner.”

David smiles at him for a long moment, a little overwhelmed with just how grateful he is for this man, and how important he has become in such a short amount of time. He shakes it off after a moment, this is not the time for feeling his feelings.

“With an offer like that, how can I refuse.”

They finish at the store quickly, the routine of cleaning and restocking the shelves is now an easy, familiar one. It makes David’s chest feel warm.

The feeling doesn’t last once they reach the Café. They sit in a booth with Alexis. She smiles when they direct the conversation at her, but it slips away into the sad frown she has been wearing all day.

David feels horrible and powerless the entire time. He isn’t good at emotions. And as much as Alexis has been somewhat of an exception to this, he has absolutely no experience that would enable him to give her advice beyond which Julia Stiles films go best with wine and ice cream.

The problem when it comes down to it is that David has never understood love. Not really.

He has observed other people fall in love, watched them fight and cry and live for it, but he doesn’t get why.

As a child he had been obsessed with the idea of it, filling the empty hallways and forgotten birthdays with fantasies of being the centre of someone’s world and never being alone again.

Alexis was different. She has always had people around that loved her because she had David.

Before she had been born, David was wildly jealous of this new thing which had stolen everyone’s attention away from him. Jonny sat him down right before she was born, while Mom was large and cranky, and asked him to look after the baby.

David did not want to do that.

The baby was the only thing that anyone ever spoke about anymore. Even Adelina had started mentioning it more and more often, prompting a hot stab of anger every time.

Right up until she had been born, he had been determined to hate her. The whole limo ride over to the hospital he had been seething with resentment, right up until the moment Moira had placed her in his arms.

She was tiny with large blue eyes and an angry, wrinkly little face. Mom looked at the two of them and told David that she was proud of him, and David felt the ice in his heart melt just a little.

Looking back, Mom’s uncharacteristic sentimentality was probably more to do with the cocktail of drugs than anything David had done, but the moment had stuck.

From that point, onward David had decided that Alexis would be the one to love him, even when Mom and Dad were gone, or Adelina was too busy to pay attention to him. For a while, it even worked.

When they were small, she would follow him around, wherever he went. Business partners and c-list actors would coo over them at dinner parties, and he would read her bedtime stories each evening. Whatever she needed, he did his best to provide for her.

This worked, right up until Alexis started kindergarten, and realised that there were other people that she could wrap around her little finger.

It had happened slowly but increased rapidly in speed once Alexis started school. By the time she was six, she had wrapped up, two Baby Gap campaigns and the offers were pouring in for more. She was good at getting people to love her effortlessly. She would smile, or blink large, blue eyes at them and they were gone, just like David, all those years ago.

Slowly, there were more exciting people for her to spend her time with. It’s not cool to have your brother hanging around with you all the time.

For a while, they would still hang out whenever she was home. They would pour through Mom’s old magazines, or play hide and seek in the corridors. It always made their wing of the house seem smaller, more like home. But Alexis got steadily busier, and David was getting older too.

He never had the same ability to win people over at first sight—maybe he was too loud or too needy—but there were still some who wanted to be friends with Jonny Rose’s son. One too many of his teenage friends harboured weirdly intense cruses on mom, too.

David didn’t mind the shallow friendship most of the time. He told himself that it was better for him this way too. After all, if people were using him most of the time, then he didn’t have to feel even slightly bad about using them in return.

Sometimes he wonders if the reason that Alexis is better at getting people to love her is because she had always known how to be loved. He doesn’t like to think about it for too long.

He doesn’t stop looking out for Alexis just because he doesn’t see her any more, in fact, it quickly becomes the opposite. The first time she calls him, needing a replacement passport and a quick exit to the nearest consulate, sounding far older than her fifteen years, he almost has a heart attack. He wires her the money, and flies out to Istanbul immediately and doesn’t breathe the whole ten hours they are in the air.

When he gets there, though, she is not impressed. _Ew David, I didn’t mean you should come and get me like this is some sixth-grade sleepover._ He is so glad to see her okay that her words barely register at the time.

Later he spends hours thinking about it, and he never gets on a plane unless she asks again. He begins to expect it whenever he hasn’t heard from her for a while. He develops a plan, sets aside a little money in some offshore accounts to make the process faster if she needs it. One time she asks him to steal one of Mom’s wigs, he even takes the hit for Hilda’s death. Moira doesn’t speak to him for a month afterwards.

The longer he stays behind, taking on far more than his fair share of Mom related dramas, the more he begins to resent her and how selfish she is. She left him, after all. Alone in that big house, with no one to speak to other than his parents whenever they are home for more than twenty-four hours.

He moves to New York and builds something that resembles his own life. He fills it with drugs and sex and noise. There is a string of people, some of them stick around for more than a couple of months, most of them don’t. He stays busy enough that he doesn’t have time to think about how empty his chest feels all the time. Stopping would give him time to catch up to himself. Then he might have to process how many of the people around him are just using him for something.

He learns that loneliness has nothing to do with how big a room is, or how empty the corridors are.

He misses home without even realising it.

The thing is, as much as David knows Alexis—knows her to her bones in that way you can only really manage with someone you grew up with—she knows him right back. Even in New York, when they rarely saw each other, she could still read precisely what he needs.

David is supposed to be going out tonight, Amancio is throwing a boat party, and everyone is going to expect him to be there, even though Aman couldn’t even be bothered to tell him about it personally. Which absolutely is not affecting David in any way, even though Aman said he would call him after last weekend. Whatever, it’s not like David was reading anything into it at all. On top of that, the new collection opens in the Lennox Hill Gallery next week, and the artist is being a real bitch about the lighting.

Mostly David just needs to get up and do his hair. There is a steady drip of water running down his neck, and he hasn’t even started putting product in it, but David finds that he can’t move. Every ounce of his will power is screaming at him to get up, to do something productive, but he can’t.

Instead, he just lies there, staring at the smudge of dust on the chrome of his bedside lamp. This goes on for what feels like forever. The drip of his hair slowly stops, until he can feel it frizzing as it dries. Still, he can’t make himself move.

In the distance, he can hear the clopping of stilettoes on a marble floor. He cringes internally. There are only two people who have keys for this apartment, and neither of them are people David wants to see right now.

“Oh. What are you doing here, David?” Alexis demands from the door.

David humphs in reply.

“Are you leaving because this is like, extremely inconvenient for me.”

The slightly shrill tone of her voice grates on David’s nerves.

“Could you just not do this today?” David sighs.

“Nooo David,” Alexis flaps her arms at him, “Franz is coming into town this evening with a couple of friends, and I was hoping I could just bring them here.”

“And what is wrong with your own apartment?” David asks.

“Well, obviously I don’t want any of them knowing where I actually live David, what if they’re like stalkers or something.”

“Right,” David replies.

There are many things he could say in response to that, but he honestly doesn’t have the energy.

So, are you?” She demands.

“What?”

“Leaving, David, seriously it’s like you’re not even listening to me!” She stomps her foot to emphasise the point.

“Fuck off, Alexis,” He replies. It lacks his usual bite.

She stares at him for a long, hard moment before coming to sit next to him on the bed.

"Do you” He pauses, feeling foolish. Alexis is probably not the best choice to dump his feelings onto. She is the only one here though. The only one who might possibly understand. “Do you ever wish you’d done something real?” He asks.

“Um, excuse you, David, my modelling career is very real.”

David gives her a long look.

“No, I mean something normal, like finishing college or having a proper family.” He trails off, feeling stupid.

“Do you remember what it was like when we were kids, Mom always checked out on Valium or whatever she was into at that point, and Dad just so busy it was like we didn’t even exist?”

“Sometimes,” She says quietly. “Mostly I just remember us taring around the place, giving Adelina grey hairs.” Alexis shuffles closer to him on the bed, and curls one hand around his wrist, squeezing tightly. It’s not much, but then they aren’t touchy people.

It’s enough, anyway.

“Mostly I just remember being lonely,” David says finally. Only that isn’t right, it was lonely in the beginning, and then again once Alexis left him there, but that bit in the middle was good. Everything that he dreamed of when he was small.

“Do you remember that time we snuck away from Adelina, and I convinced you to have a snowball fight with me?” She asks, a grin on her face.

“I remember that you were in a ski jacket and you ruined my favourite sweater,” David replied indignantly, remembering the day.

Adelina always hated the cold, so David had followed her outside without a coat, only to regret it very quickly when she pelted him with snow. He could have been annoyed, but it was one of the last times they had done anything like that. Even as it had been happening, it had felt a little like a dream as if the moment was running away from him as it was unfolding. It never lost that sheen, though it remains one of the better memories of their childhood.

David blocks out the memory of what came after and lets that feeling fill him up. The lavender scent of Alexis’ perfume filling his nose, reminding him of Adelina and freshly washed sheets. The feeling of dread that has been following David around all day is slowly dissipating.

He could still stay here and feel sorry for himself for a little longer, but the thought of getting drunk and losing himself in someone else again is a much more appealing than sitting at home with his sister and his feelings.

“Yeah,” David finally sighs. He lies there for a second longer, enjoying the warmth of having someone looking out for him.

“Okay, get off me, I need to wash my hair again before I leave,” He swats at her arm, and she retreats. “I will leave, but if there is so much as a smudge on my carpet so help me, Alexis, you will deal with the next five Mom emergencies.”

“Ughh, fine David.” She huffs, but there is a slight smile at the corner of her lips, and he can tell that for tonight it’s for show.

For the most part, Alexis remained the same as she has always been, unflappable and spoilt, rushing headfirst into danger and then expecting someone to come and bail her out. It worries David, how reckless she can be without even meaning to, but he also knows that she is only that way because there has always been someone there to catch her. David has always been there. She never says thank you, or even acknowledges how much she is asking, but then there will be moments like this where the layers fall away, and she becomes something almost human.

If she tried, she would be the best of them, of that David has always been sure.

When she gets the chance, she proves him right a hundred times over. Moving to Schitt’s Creek is the best thing that has ever happened to them as well as the worst.

That is not to say that they suddenly get on perfectly all of the time. She is no longer the little girl with pigtails who hung on his every word. She is bratty and spoilt more often than not. The shift from seeing each other once or twice a year to living in twin beds in the same motel room is jarring.

Strangely enough, before Schitt’s Creek, they never had any serious arguments. This was largely due to the fact that they simply didn’t see each other for long enough. More importantly, David actively tried not to fight with her about the important stuff.

Sometimes the resentment lingering in his chest feels like a physical thing, twisting and pulling at his heart. He’s scared that if they argue it will take over and he’ll end up saying something unforgivable. The kind of thing that would stop her from calling when she needed help. That is not an acceptable outcome. So he bit his tongue, for years.

Once they were stuck in the same place most of the reasons for that evaporated pretty quickly.

It takes a while to boil over properly. They start with bickering. They argue about who keeps which bed or finishing each other’s yoghurt. All the while, David’s frustrations continue to build.

The longer they stay in Schitt’s Creek, the less ground David has to be mad about it – other than that time they almost sold the town of course, though the less said about that, the better. It’s an odd feeling.

When it finally happens, it comes completely out of the blue. Okay, not completely, the driving test is stressful, and Alexis is being a total bitch about it. His heart is racing, making his heart feel staticky like it did during the panic attacks, and she is not helping.

Even once the test is over, and her advice has been proven not entirely awful do they talk about it properly. They aren’t shouting any more, which is why it’s so surprising when he says something a little bit too truthful.

“I was the one not having fun because I was constantly worried about which East Asian Palace Alexis is being held hostage in this week, not Mom and Dad. Me.” He says, carefully stressing each word.

“Well you didn’t have to worry about me,” Alexis replies, petulantly.

“Well, I did.”

He continues to stare at the road in front of him, deliberately not looking her way.

The silence stretches out between them for a while, the bland scenery doing little to distract David’s thoughts. He should let it go, but now that he’s started he has an overwhelming urge to tell her everything else.

Strangely enough, it is Alexis who continues the conversation. “Do you remember—years ago—you told me the only thing you remember about home is how lonely it was?”

David’s eyes jump to her in surprise. “Yes, though I didn’t expect you to.”

“Watch the road David” Alexis scolds. Which—rude. And hypocritical, though this doesn’t seem like the time to mention it.  
“I got lonely when I was away. I felt like a deserted child in a YA novel or something.”

“You felt deserted?” David asked, incredulously. “You!”

He takes a deep breath before continuing. “Alexis, you fucked off and left me there, all alone again. So you don’t really get to pull that card with me.”

“What do you mean again?” She asks quietly.

“Do you remember Mom and Dad spending that much time with us when you were really young?”

“Well, no…”

“Exactly. You didn’t think it was any different when it was just me, did you?”

Alexis takes a moment, emotions flitting across her face. “You could have left too, you know.”

“Well someone needed to look out for you,” David said finally. “We’ve already established that Mom and Dad were useless, and besides it was my job.”

Alexis frowned at him, long and hard. “It wasn’t your job David.”

“Yes.” He says firmly “you are my little sister, looking out for you is always going to be my job.”

Alexis freezes while she processes his statement. A small smile is growing on her lips.

“David.”

“Enough.” David cuts her off. “Let’s just, enjoy the scenery in silence for a while.”

She looks like she wants to say something to him again, but she doesn’t. They sit in silence for almost all of the trip back, until they pull into town.

“Daaayyy-viiid” she draws out his name as she used to when they were young.

He tries to ignore her, so she repeats it, poking at his cheek at the same time. He swats her hand away.

“What.”

“Look, I’m really sorry, I never really thought about it from your perspective. I guess it kinda seemed like I was leaving you? That was pretty selfish of me. I was pretty selfish back then.”

“Excuse you, you’re still extremely selfish,” David replies, but he is smiling.

“Rude, David.” Alexis gives him a bright grin. “I just want to say thank you for looking out for me.”

“Do my ears deceive me?”

“Oh my god David, shut up, that’s the last time I thank you for anything.” Alexis rolls her eyes at him.

They are pulling into the motel, and David can feel the moment slipping. Part of him wants to press on, to bare his soul to her and force her to deal with it. He doesn’t need to anymore. This is enough.

Alexis moves to get out of the car.

“Your Welcome” David says quietly as she reaches for the door handle. Alexis doesn’t say anything else, she just gives him a squinty-eyed smile she does when she’s genuinely content.

And that is the end of it. Neither of them acknowledges it out loud, but some of the weight in their relationship disappears instantly, and each time David seeks her out for advice, it gets a little better.

She starts becoming a better person, too. Not that David isn’t—at least he thinks he is—but it is especially noticeable in Alexis, given how awful she used to be some of the time. Looking back on it now, the way she treated Ted sits badly in his stomach. As much as he can see that she is hurting now, she certainly used up more than her fair share of chances with him in the beginning. It takes all of them a while to get used to it, and even then, she is still a little wild.

She gets there in the end, though.

Alexis seems so much braver than David has ever been. He asks her about it once, right after his birthday, when every ounce of his body is telling him to run as far away from Patrick before it crashes and burns and he ruins two of the best things in his life.

They are both lying in bed in the darkness. David isn’t looking at her when he asks, he’s focused on one of the stains above his bed in the motel—he thinks one of them is growing.

He can feel her looking at him for a long moment before she replies “It didn’t just magically happen, David. There was a process. Mostly I think it was everything that happened with Mutt. I wouldn’t do anything differently because I learnt so much about myself. It hurt, but also he taught me to want something more for myself,” She pauses for a long moment “You’ve already done the hard bit you know.”

David takes a long moment to process what she’s saying, not taking his eyes off of the ceiling. “I’ve never felt like this before.”

“I know,” She replies, “just don’t run away before you get to love him first. You’ll regret it.”

David takes a long look at her, finally. She is still looking at him, her eyes burning in their intensity as she stares across the room. For a second he wants to ask if she’s okay, but the moment passes before he can convince himself too.

“Besides, David, if you think you’re confused what about poor baby Patrick, you’re much more intimidating than he is.”

David knows she’s right, Patrick must be feeling all of this and more if this is his first relationship with a man. He feels a little selfish for not having thought of it earlier.

“Thank you.” He says quietly, “You’re not half bad at this advice stuff.”

“Well obvi, David, I didn’t have an advice column in Teen Vogue for three months for nothing.”

David smiles, he can practically feel her eyes rolling dramatically at him. It’s comforting to know that deep down she’s still the same Alexis.

They don’t speak again, but the silence is comfortable, right up until David slips into sleep.  
All of this is running over and over in David’s head as Patrick drives them home. He wants her to know that he cares, that he’s proud of her whatever she wants to do. It’s silly to think that his words will have that much effect on Alexis now she is too much her own person for that, but he wants her to know that he has her back, whatever happens. For a moment he actually considers giving a speech of some kind.  
He doesn’t, of course, but he does pull her into a hug once they are back at the motel. It’s slightly uncomfortable if he’s honest, but if the way she melts into it is anything to go by she needs it today.  
In the weeks that follow David keeps a close-ish eye on her. Even as his own love life blows up and comes back together again. He means to be more available to her than he is, but it turns out he should have had more faith in her because she never wavers. He is impossibly proud of her.

The idea of Alexis being in love with someone had been so outlandish, to begin with, but the longer he watches her, the more obvious it becomes. He can see the weight of it pressing down on her all the time. She brings him up constantly when they’re talking. So much, it’s almost ridiculous. Everything they do has a short Ted related story attached. Something about his mother, or a pun he once told her—always awful, of course. He also sees all of the ways that it is clear she is trying, desperately to stop. Stop loving him. Stop thinking about him all the time at least. It makes him incredibly proud of her, even as he is sure that they are only waiting for the other shoe to drop. This can’t continue indefinitely.

It happens right before Singles Week because of course, it does. Ted has been too involved in the whole thing, and it’s making David feel uneasy. He has come home to Alexis and Ted looking at photos of puppies too many times for it to be a simple business meeting. Ted’s feelings in all of this are the one thing he can’t predict. He likes Ted, lord help him. He totally gets why the guy would want to stay as far away from Alexis as possible, given everything that has happened between them. Despite that, there is something there still, he can see it lingering between them.  
Alexis can see it too. It’s one of the reasons that she has been completely unable to get over him. At this point, it seems like the harder she tries, the more she is caught up in it. They have been inching towards a precipice for a while now, but it still comes as a shock when it finally happens.

David can tell that something has changed even before she tells him. Alexis doesn’t say anything when she returns to the motel, she just sits on her bed for an intense number of seconds, staring into the middle distance. The old David would have let her stay there. He wouldn’t have pushed, and he wouldn’t have held her while she cried over her mistakes. The old Alexis wouldn’t have wanted him too.

David likes it much better this way around.

He perches awkwardly on the bed next to her and reaches out to touch her shoulder. She looks up at him suddenly, as though she hadn’t noticed him there before.

“What happened?” He asked, forcing his face to remain neutral.

“-And don’t bullshit me, I can see whatever your face is doing right now,” He cuts her off before she can protest.

Alexis takes a deep breath, as though she is centring herself. “I told him,”

David thinks he knows what that means, but he waits for her to confirm it.

“I told Ted that I’m in love with him.”

“Oh,” David says hollowly.

“Yeah,” Alexis’ voice is thick with tears.

He desperately wants to ask for more details. It seems like an insensitive course of action, though, all things considered.

“Do you—um. Do you want a hug?” he asks awkwardly.

Alexis looks up at him in shock for a moment. Her eyes are wide and slightly damp, and it reminds David all at once of them as children. He used to be the only one who could comfort her when she cried. It would be nice to be one of the people she trusts to do that again.

She pauses for a long second before nodding jerkily and falling into his arms. He expects her to start sobbing, but she doesn’t. She just buries her nose into his neck and holds on tight. He feels incredibly awkward. His arms dance around her shoulders for a second while he is trying to find somewhere to rest them, and his back is held stiffly. Then he feels something damp on his neck. He relaxes into the hug as an impulse.

For once, Mom and Dad don’t interrupt. It’s just the two of them for a really long time holding each other as tight as they can. 

Finally, Alexis pulls away. There are no signs of tears on her face, but that isn’t a guarantee of anything.

She doesn’t say thank you. Neither of them says anything, actually. They just get ready for bed in silence.

Later, when Alexis’ breathing has evened out in sleep, he lets himself think about it again. Love is confusing in all of its forms. Alexis is something else. He is as much in awe of her ability to love as always, though for the first time in years his own feelings shock him too. She has always had someone around to love her because she has always had David. For some reason, it never occurred to him that it went the other way too.

He thinks about Mom and Dad, and Stevie, and Patrick—though his brain skitters away from thinking about love and Patrick in the same sentence. David is being wilfully obtuse, he knows, but there is only so much that his brain can handle at a time.

It's a start though.

David Rose has never understood love, but now he might be willing to try.

**Author's Note:**

> A massive thank you to the OFN organisers, all the work you guys have put in to make this happen is incredible, and it has been a joy to be a part of!


End file.
